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Dr. Juli Slattery and Amber discuss discussed some of the unbalanced messages Christians received during 90’s purity culture, the dangers of reducing intimacy down to a formula, some ways her understanding of God and sex have evolved over the years and what covenant has to do with it.

Questions Discussed During Life After Losing Your Memory:

1. As someone who has spent well over a decade working exclusively in the arena of Christian sexuality, what were some of the unbalanced messages Christians received during that time?
2. How do you define sexual integrity?
3. What has been some of the fall out of the unbalanced messaging from purity culture?
4. You wrote, “My understanding of God and sex has dramatically evolved over the decades. I can see that metamorphosis in the emphasis and nuances in what I wrote twenty years ago versus what I’m writing and teaching today. My journey has brought me closer to the heart of God.” Will you share some of those changes with us?
5. As your understanding of God’s Word has grown, what would you now say to someone who says, “Why should I stay pure?  That’s so old school.”
6. I am going to say a few common phrases we hear regarding sexual purity.  I would like for you to respond to them by first sharing what pops in your head and then sharing how you address these phrases in your writing, speaking, podcasting, etc.  🙂 -Dress modestly to prevent your brother from stumbling. -Save sex for marriage. -Men are more sexual than women. -God created sex to expand the family
7. What would you say to the man or woman listening who is single or widowed about sexual purity?

Christian Sexual Purity & Intimacy Quotes to Remember:

“If we were to boil it down to the one piece that purity culture really got wrong is it presented a very simplistic, legalistic view of sexuality.”

“Sex and marriage for most people is very difficult….It doesn’t look like [how] the movies presented or I Kissed Dating Goodbye presented.”

“Sex is really all about covenant. And God created sex to be the celebration, the sealing of a covenant between two people, and the marriage covenant.”

“There’s so many wrong messages about sex. And we rarely hear what it actually sounds like for us to have God honoring, edifying, raw conversations around sexuality.”

“I think the first change we need to make is this is not about education. It’s about discipleship. And discipleship is a messy, lifelong journey. There’s really no goal other than becoming more like Christ, and education is part of discipleship, but if we look at what the culture is doing, they’re discipling us in our sexuality….They’re giving you role models as examples of how to live out any expression of sexuality. And so when you as a as a Christian family or church, just throw a two day Youth Conference at a group of kids and think that’s going to stick…discipleship will always win out over education.”

“You don’t just stop looking at pornography, because somebody tells you it’s wrong. It’s a journey. You don’t just start enjoying sex, because you know you’re supposed to. So this is a long journey, that the body of Christ is meant to be on with one another.”

“What I’ve learned is what you believe about sex has to begin with what you believe about God.”

“A thriving person, whether you’re single or married has to have rich, intimate relationships.”

Resources Mentioned:

• Book: God, Sex, and Your Marriage by Dr. Juli Slattery
• Book: Rethinking Sexuality by Dr. Juli Slattery
• Book: Sex and The Single Girl by Dr. Juli Slattery

Related Episodes:

• 197: Rachel Joy Welcher | Talking Back to Purity Culture
• 196: Dean Inserra | Is the Bible’s Plan for Sexuality Outdated?
• 119: Shelia Gregoire | Exposing Lies Christians Believe About Sex
• 91: Mary Flo Ridley | Let’s Talk Birds & Bees
• 54: Nick Stumbo | Discovering Freedom From Pornography