219: Rosie Makinney | The Truth About Women Crushed by Porn in Their Relationships

Rosie Makinney | The Truth About Women Crushed by Porn in Their Relationships

Rosie Makinney

Rosie Makinney is the founder of Fight For Love Ministries, which empowers women with the faith and the facts to fight against porn addiction and its effects on them, their spouses, and their families.

She is the author of Fight For Love, an international speaker, and the host of the award-winning Fight For Love Podcast.

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Is your spouse or boyfriend struggling with a porn addiction in your relationship? Have you heard the myths about how to address it? From the widely misinformed to the downright wrong, Rosie Makinney is here to debunk the top three myths about how pornography addiction affects relationships and marriages, present the truth and what to do next.

I remember what it was like to feel so alone and so ashamed, and I don’t want anybody else to feel like that. – Rosie Makinney

My special guest is Rosie Makinney

Rosie Makinney, founder of Fight for Love Ministries, is a compassionate advocate for women struggling with the impact of pornography addiction in their relationships. With a personal history of battling porn addiction in two significant relationships, Rosie’s passion for helping others is rooted in her own experiences. Through her work with Fight for Love Ministries and as an author, Rosie brings hope, truth, and guidance to women looking for support and understanding.

This is Rosie Makinney’s story:

Rosie Makinney found herself in a world she never expected, grappling with the destructive impact of pornography addiction on relationships. Her journey began with a desperate cry for help, seeking solace from a toxic relationship with an unrepentant porn addict. In her pursuit of new friendships and a sense of normalcy, Rosie unexpectedly met Jesus and found hope. Later, she fell in love and married an American man who claimed his pornography addiction was in the past. Soon, Rosie discovered the issue was far from resolved, causing tumultuous disturbances in their marriage. Desperate for change, Rosie drew a line in the sand and sought help, ultimately forming a support group for women in similar situations.

In this episode, you will be able to:

  • Unravel the complex impacts of pornography addiction on relationships and marital well-being.
  • Discover the path towards healing from betrayal trauma and tackling the emotional fallout resulting from your spouse’s addiction.
  • Champion the significance of setting boundaries and enlisting professional help to bolster recovery success.
  • Examine and question assumptions surrounding pornography addiction and its influence on sexual intimacy.
  • Gain the essential knowledge to protect and educate your children against the risks posed by exposure to pornography and possible addiction.
 

Memorable Quotes:

Rosie on coming to know Jesus:

“I suppose the thing I did, was lying in that bed going, ‘Help me Help me Help me.’ I knocked on the door. But He [God] did the rest.”

Rosie on addressing pornography in her marriage and helping others:

“But I said enough. You can have pornography or you can have me but you can’t have both. I have done this journey. I know that nothing I do is going to work. So you get help or that’s it?”

“Drawing that firm line in the sand is the only thing that works. You cannot compete with this. You cannot control this, you cannot cure this, the only thing that works is drawing a firm line in the sand and saying, This has no place in our marriage. This is not good for you. This is not good for us.”

“I can’t guarantee that your marriage is gonna get better, because I can’t control what your husband’s going to do. But for you, life is going to get better. And you’re going to start having choices, and you’re going to be able to make informed choices.”

“We call ourselves the ambulance, we go around looking for hurting women who don’t even really realize why they’re limping.  [We say,] ‘Look, there’s hope, there’s help, we can help you.’ “

“So whether or not it’s a process or a substance addiction, they both escalate, you develop tolerance for them. So you’re always having to up the ante. And this is why your wife can never compete. One woman can not compete with this endless novelty that the internet provides.”

“This misconception that sexual intimacy with your spouse is interchangeable with pornography is really dangerous… It’s not sexual junk food is poison.”

What Fight for Love does to equip women:
  • Step One: Get Educated
  • Step Two: Get Connected
  • Step Three: Reach Out for Help

“A crisis of faith is really normal for women in this situation…And you need someone who’s going to walk alongside you and help you process that, not shame you, or make you feel like a bad Christian on top of everything else, right?”

“We think recovery is going to be like this straight line and it’s not, it’s like spaghetti.”

Trauma response:

“Just start to hear what recovery community feels like, sounds like, and that might help you come out of the shadows, and get the help that you desperately need. Because life does not have to be as scary and painful and lonely as it is right now.”

Pornography and children:

“I think a good place to start is looking at why pornography is addictive….Why is my kid watching this horrific thing, that it’s actually freaking them out somewhat. But yet, they keep going back to it, because it actually gives you a biological reward.”

“The best way to combat this is to be having regular open dialogues about this. So it’s not just the case of slap your filters on, because kids are so tech savvy, they can get around it. And also, their friends, you can’t be with them all the time…But what you want them to do is recognize what it is that they’re watching, and that they are able to turn from it and come and tell you.”

Resources Mentioned:

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I remember what it was like to feel so alone and so ashamed, and I don't want anybody else to feel like that.
Drawing that firm line in the sand is the only thing that works. You cannot compete with this. You cannot control this, you cannot cure this, the only thing that works is drawing a firm line in the sand and saying, "This has no place in our marriage. This is not good for you. This is not good for us."
This misconception that sexual intimacy with your spouse is interchangeable with pornography is really dangerous... It's not sexual junk food is poison.

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